The Saturday Scalpel: Issue 11

Hey hey, it’s me again! 👋

It’s your boy, Dr. Kevin Cutthebull, MD — Back again to ruin your morning muffin.

This is gonna be a short one so buckle up, and don’t forget to grab your freebies.

So you’ve heard this cliché:

“Eat breakfast like a king.”

Cute idea—if your royal digestive hormones weren’t still drooling in bed while you’re shoving down protein oats like it's the Olympic finals of chewing.

Let me break this down. Chrono-style.

You wake up.

Melatonin—your body’s night-shift janitor—is still mopping up metabolic damage from last night’s sins (like that third glass of “it’s just red wine”).

And you show up like a frat bro with an energy drink and an egg burrito yelling:

“WAKE UP, BITCH! IT’S BREAKFAST TIME!”

Here’s the biology:

 🕖 Melatonin doesn’t clock out until about an hour after you wake up.

🧠 During that hour, your body is still in night mode.

💩 Your gut is like, “Please don’t make me digest anything right now. I’m hungover from dinner.”

And the irony? No one asks, “Can I skip dinner?”

Because we treat dinner like a sacred Netflix ritual.

Late-night pizza is basically a religion these days.

But guess what?

Skipping dinner is a way better idea than skipping breakfast.

In fact, Let’s get nerdy for a minute:

🧪 Hormones 101: Your Body’s Morning Mood Board

You ever try working while half the office is still asleep? That’s your digestive system before 8 AM.

Here’s what your hormones are actually doing when you roll out of bed:

Melatonin – The Night Janitor 🧼

Melatonin isn’t just a “sleep hormone” — it’s your body’s repair mode.

• It peaks at night (around 2–3 AM), and slowly fades 1–2 hours after you wake up [📚 National Library of Medicine – Sack et al., 2007].

• If you eat before melatonin clears out, you’re literally disrupting your body’s cellular repair process.

• Translation? It’s like trying to host a dinner party while your housekeeper’s still vacuuming.

Cortisol – The Morning Motivator ☀️

This one should be high in the morning. It’s your get-up-and-go hormone.

• Peaks about 30–45 minutes after waking — it helps regulate blood sugar and preps you to handle food.

• But if you eat while melatonin’s still doing night shift? Cortisol gets confused.
  You get wonky digestion, poor glucose tolerance, and all-day hunger spikes.
  [📚 Journal of Clinical Endocrinology – Leproult & Van Cauter, 2010]

Insulin Sensitivity – The Real G 🥇

Your body is most insulin-sensitive early in the day, peaking around midday.
That means your cells are better at pulling glucose from the bloodstream — great for energy, muscle gain, and reducing fat storage.

• But when melatonin is still high (read: early breakfast or late-night dinner), insulin sensitivity drops.

• Studies show eating late increases fat gain, even if calories are the same.
  [📚 Cell Metabolism – Sutton et al., 2018]

So here’s the simple fix:

✅ Wake up
✅ Do NOT raid the fridge for 60 minutes
✅ Hydrate, maybe walk, check your email, pretend you’re productive
✅ Eat a light breakfast—think eggs or fruit, not a county fair funnel cake
✅ Make lunch your big meal
✅ Eat dinner early and light
(If it’s dark out and your food has gravy, you’ve already lost.)

My Final Words:

Breakfast isn’t bad.

Just... don’t treat it like a golden retriever that needs attention the second you open your eyes.

Your hormones have a rhythm. Respect it.

You’ll digest better. Sleep better. Possibly live longer.

And as a bonus—you’ll stop waking up bloated like a haunted bagel.

📣 PSA: You CAN Reply to this email.

When do you eat your first bite?

Be real. Are you a 6:01 AM cereal criminal?

Or a 9:30 “forgot to eat” psychopath?

Hit reply and confess.

🛠️ In Case You Missed It...

While you were out committing nutritional crimes (yes, I saw that 2 AM Hot Pocket), we dropped free guides to un-wreck your body.

👉 Grab the freebies here before your metabolism finds out:

Freebie #1: Sunscreen guide
Freebie #2: Sclerotherapy

Until next week —
Eat smarter.
Fast longer.
And for the love of mitochondria, stop drinking coffee while your hormones are still sleeping.
I do it responsibly.

Dr. Kevin Cutthebull, MD

P.S. Got a health myth you want sliced open next? Hit reply and let Dr. Kevin know — the scalpel’s always ready.