The Saturday Scalpel: Issue 25

From the desk of Dr. Kevin, MD

“Staying healthy isn’t hard. It’s misunderstood as f*ck.”

Hi Scalpelheads…

Kevin here, no intro needed…

Let’s learn how to diagnose your body by looking at your face.

Yes, you heard me.

But first, I’m gonna warn you…

Don’t use this on your spouse. Seriously.

Nobody wants to hear, “Hey honey, I just learned why your face looks like sh*t.”

That’s how divorces happen.

Use this info on yourself, not others. Keep peace in your house and science on your face.

Here’s the juice:

1. Balding? Blame DHT, Not Destiny

If your hairline is running for its life, it’s probably DHT, a turbocharged form of testosterone.

Lower it with:

• Pumpkin seeds

• Green tea

• Zinc

All three help calm the enzyme that turns testosterone into DHT. Science baby!

2. Missing Eyebrow Ends? Your Thyroid’s Slacking

If the outer part of your eyebrows is disappearing like Max’s weird hairline, that’s a slow thyroid.

Add iodine (150 mcg/day) from sea kelp or iodized salt and quit skipping protein like a rabbit on detox.

3. Bloodshot or Dry Eyes? Your Liver’s Crying

Constant red eyes or that sandpaper feeling?

You’re probably wrecking your liver with too many carbs or drinks.

Fix it by:

• Cutting junk and sugar

• Eating cruciferous veggies like broccoli and kale (Fun fact: I hate broccoli too, but guess what?! I still eat that sh*t!)

If the redness is on the inner eyelid, it’s an insulin issue. Your blood sugar is acting up (again).

4. Dark Circles and Eye Bags: Sugar and Kidneys on Strike

Those dark patches are insulin resistance showing up as pigment.

Those puffy bags? Your kidneys might be drowning in sugar.

Fix both by:

• Going low-carb

• Trying intermittent fasting (I swear by it!)

Drinking actual water, not “iced caramel macchiato with oat milk”.

Busted!!

5. Oily Skin or Acne: Hormones Gone Wild

If your face looks like an oil slick, your androgens are out of control.

That happens when insulin spikes from carbs, sugar, and stress.

Fix it by cutting carbs and adding zinc.

Ladies, if you also have facial hair or PCOS, same rule.

Calm your insulin.

6. Cataracts or Cloudy Vision: Sugar Burnout

Cataracts are your eye lenses rusting from oxidative stress caused by high blood sugar.

Help fix it with:

• Vitamin B1 (Benfotiamine)

• NAC eye drops

• A lower-carb diet

7. Red Cheeks or Rosacea: Stress and Gut Drama

That Rudolph glow usually means high cortisol from chronic stress or a gut imbalance.

Fix it naturally with:

• Garlic, oregano, thyme, or wormwood (Go easy on garlic, if you have body odor concerns…if you know, you know… )

• Sauerkraut or probiotic foods

8. Flaky or Scaly Skin: Omega Imbalance

Peeling skin around your nose or ears means too much omega-6 and not enough omega-3. (I talked about Omega-3 in detail here.)

Balance it with:

• Cod liver oil or fatty fish

• Less fried food and seed oils

9. Cracked Lips or Mouth Corners: Vitamin B2 Deficiency

Cracks mean your body is begging for riboflavin (B2).

Eat more eggs, liver, and leafy greens, and stop living on refined carbs.

10. Cold Sores or Viral Flares: Stress Wins Again

When viruses wake up, it’s usually because your immune system tanked after stress.
Help your body fight back with:

• Fasting

• Garlic and zinc

• Real rest, not doom-scrolling at 3 a.m.

Bottom Line

Your face is a health map, not a mystery.

Stop slapping on creams and start fixing the inside.

If it’s oily, puffy, red, or flaking, your body’s just yelling, “Fix your diet, genius.”

Go low-carb, sleep more, stress less, and watch your face look less like a warning sign.

Reply “I read it”, if you’ve read so far… I love you guys…

Until next Saturday,
Dr. Kevin Cutthebull, MD

P.S. I want to make these memos perfect for you, so tell me, what did you think of today’s edition?