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From the desk of Dr. Kevin, MD

“… toasting a moldy bread doesn’t kill the toxins. This isn’t a Disney movie… fire doesn’t solve everything.”

I Quit Bread for 30 Days. Here’s what happened:

Hello Scalpelheads. This is Dr. Kevin.

And you’re reading the first edition of The Saturday Scalpel in 2026.

Yes, that means you survived 2025. Barely…

Anyways…

Let’s kick off the year by ruining breakfast.

Today’s victim: bread.

That’s right. The warm, fluffy emotional support carb people defend like it’s a family member.

White bread. Wheat bread. Whole grain. Sprouted. Ezekiel. Sourdough.

Somehow bread is both junk food and health food depending on which podcast you’re listening to.

So what actually happens if you stop eating bread for f***ing 30 days?

Short answer: good things.

Long answer: sit down. Preferably not on a toilet.

Bread Is Just Sugar Wearing a Lab Coat

About 80% of bread is starch. And starch is just glucose holding hands with other glucose pretending to be sophisticated.

Yes, it’s called a complex carbohydrate, which sounds impressive until your body breaks it down into sugar within seconds.

Blood sugar spikes → Insulin rushes in like a firefighter with anxiety issues.