The Saturday Scalpel: Issue 36

In partnership with

From the desk of Dr. Kevin, MD

“20% of the population have [Cilantro] soap gene”

Mistake #1: Drinking Too Much Damn Water

Yes. You can overhydrate. No, your kidneys are not impressed by your emotional support water bottle.

Forcing gallons of water without electrolytes dilutes your sodium levels and can cause hyponatremia, aka “you’re technically dehydrated even though you won the hydration Olympics.”

People have literally died doing this. Not from dehydration.

From too much water.

Water needs salt to stay where it belongs. If you’re not sweating, exercising, or replacing electrolytes, stop chugging like you’re prepping for a camel cosplay.

Thirst still works. Trust it.

Mistake #2: Chugging Water Like a Frat Boy

Slamming water too fast overwhelms your electrolyte balance, especially sodium, whose job is to keep fluid inside the right compartments.

Translation: drink like an adult human, not like you’re trying to join Mount Brolympus.

Slow. Sip. You’re not being timed.

Mistake #3: Thinking Coffee, Soda, or Alcohol “Counts”

No. No it doesn’t. And whoever told you soda hydrates you should be banned from speaking forever.

• Coffee & tea → mild diuretics

• Alcohol → full dehydration demon

• Soda → sugar + chemicals pretending to be hydration

If you’re stacking caffeine, diuretics, hot weather, sweating, or exercise → you’re bleeding fluids quietly.

Also: diarrhea, vomiting, heat, intense workouts, and certain meds all jack up your fluid needs. Hydration isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s math. Boring, necessary math.

Mistake #4: Keto + No Electrolytes = Disaster

When you drop carbs, you dump water fast. Why? Because glycogen stores water…roughly 3 grams of water per gram of glucose.

High-carb diet? You’re a human water balloon. Low-carb diet? That water evacuates immediately.

No electrolytes = headaches, fatigue, dizziness, “why do I feel like trash?” syndrome.

Salt up. Drink smart. Don’t blame keto for your bad planning.

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Mistake #5: Drinking a Lake With Your Meals

If you drown your meals with water, you dilute stomach acid… especially if you already have low stomach acid (hello, anyone over 45).

Less acid = worse protein digestion = bloating, reflux, and vibes we don’t want.

Rule of thumb:

• Drink before meals

• Sip lightly during

• Hydrate more after

If you’re thirsty while eating, drink. Just don’t flood the engine.

Mistake #6: Ice-Cold Water Overkill

This one’s minor, but if your digestion already sucks, chugging large amounts of ice-cold water can slow the vagus nerve, which controls digestion.

Some people are fine. Others turn into bloated balloons.

Know your body. You’re not a penguin.

Bonus Round: Drinking Raw Tap Water Like It’s 1992

Tap water isn’t just chlorine and fluoride anymore.

We’re talking:

• Hormone disruptors

• Fertility-affecting chemicals

• Carcinogens

• Glyphosate residues

• Microplastics so small they laugh at your filters

Get a real water filter. This isn’t paranoia… I call it baseline adult behavior.

Final Reality Check

Water is essential. But more isn’t always better.

And “hydration culture” has gone fully unhinged.

Drink enough. Add electrolytes when needed. Stop chugging like a lunatic.

And if you care about skin, energy, digestion, or not feeling like garbage → hydration matters more than you think.

Stay hydrated. Not delulu.

I talked enough, now it’s your turn. I want to hear your healthy routines.

If you’re doing something that you learned here and it changed your life, reply to this email let us know.

We get excited and encouraged to do more (and better…)

Until next Saturday,

Dr. Kevin Cutthebull, MD

P.S. Since I love giving out valuable guides left and right, you can download my favorite guide of the week here. For free (no opt-in required)→ (Download Here)