“Then a priest appeared holding a tiny pill…”

October 10–16, 2026 | 10 discoveries. 10 dangerous islands. One increasingly pissed-off doctor.

Well, well, well. Look who's back.

Dr. Max has apparently decided that reading medical research is too exhausting for his precious little brain, so he's sent me on a voyage through the absolute sh**show we call modern healthcare.

My mission? Cross ten mysterious islands, survive the monsters of medical misinformation, and bring back something humanity hasn't seen in years.

Common f***ing sense.

Our ship is called The Juice of Evidence. Our crew consists of me, a suspiciously underqualified medical intern, and a captain who is a degenerate gambler. He also thinks vitamin gummies can replace vegetables.

Bueno!

Somewhere out there, ten discoveries are waiting for us. Weight-loss pills, cancer, steroids, gambling, and a few things that might actually save your life.

So grab your coffee and popcorn...

We're sailing.

The daily GLP-1 pill | 8.9/10

GLP-1 has become non negotiable part of each week now. Three days into our voyage, we discovered a temple where thousands worshipped a giant golden syringe.

The god of weight loss demanded weekly sacrifices.

Then a priest appeared holding a tiny pill.

"BEHOLD! THE FUTURE OF WEIGHT LOSS!"

Oh, for f**k's sake. Another medication miracle?

Actually, this one's interesting tho.

On October 15, European regulators recommended approving orforglipron, a daily GLP-1 pill, for weight management and type 2 diabetes.

In obesity trials involving more than 4,740 adults, participants lost approximately 5–11% of their body weight over 72 weeks, compared with roughly 2–2.5% on placebo.

And it can be taken with or without food.

But calm your magnificent booty. Oral GLP-1 medications already exist, gastrointestinal side effects are common, and European regulators recommending approval doesn't mean the pill is immediately available.

The priest called us heretics.

We called it reading the fucking evidence.

And sailed toward a mysterious blue light.

Continuous glucose monitoring | 9.7/10

The light belonged to a giant crystal ball.

"IT CAN SEE YOUR BLOOD SUGAR!" screamed its guardian.

Fantastic. Another weird fortune teller.

Except this one has actual evidence.

They randomized 283 adults with type 2 diabetes who weren't taking insulin.

After 26 weeks, average HbA1c dropped from 8.8% to 7.2% with continuous glucose monitoring, versus 8.7% to 8.0% with usual care.

The adjusted difference was 0.9 percentage points.

Turns out seeing your blood sugar patterns can help you manage them.

Revolutionary.

Then the guardian screamed, "EVERY HEALTHY PERSON NEEDS ONE!"

No, Gary.

This study involved people with type 2 diabetes, not healthy influencers panicking over their matcha.

The trial was also sponsored by Dexcom.

Practical lesson: If you have or you know someone with type 2 diabetes, even without insulin, chances are CGM could help.

We escaped the oracle and followed a strange smell toward our next destination.

Ultra-processed foods and colon cancer | 9.7/10

Here, every packaged food was sentenced to death.

Bread? GUILTY.

Yogurt? GUILTY.

Breakfast cereal? EXECUTE IT.

Their king was a nutritional influencer who believed anything with more than five ingredients was manufactured by a collab between Satan and Dark Lord himself.

Unfortunately for His Majesty, researchers had followed 461,682 older Americans, recording 10,075 colorectal cancer cases.

Overall ultra-processed food consumption wasn't significantly associated with colorectal cancer incidence.

But individual foods told different stories.

Ultra-processed meat was associated with higher risk, while whole grains, fiber, dairy, and calcium from ultra-processed sources were associated with lower risk.

Well, sh*t.

Turns out food quality matters more than blindly counting ingredients.

This was observational research, so it doesn't prove causation.

Eat more fiber and whole grains, limit processed meat, and stop thinking every packaged food is a dibolical weapon.

The king ordered our execution too.

We escaped on a boat made from fortified breakfast cereal.

Weight-loss surgery and cancer | 9.4/10

Turns out a boat made from fortified breakfast cereal won’t last long on water…

Our next island was guarded by a dragon with 2 heads.

One head promised eternal health.

The other promised catastrophic consequences.

Very much like the average medical comment section.

Researchers studied 784,105 people with obesity across three Nordic countries.

Compared with those who didn't undergo bariatric surgery, surgical patients had:

"SEE! SURGERY PREVENTS CANCER!" screamed the first head.

Not so fast, you oversized salamander.

This was observational research. Again: Association doesn't establish causation.

And pancreatic cancer rates were actually higher after surgery, particularly among younger adults.

The reasons remain unclear.

Bariatric surgery may offer benefits beyond weight loss, but patients need to understand the risks and uncertainties too.

Unfortunately our captain is a degenerate gambler, but he managed to win a ship so we can escape the dragon.

Online gambling and mental health | 9.5/10

Back then Sirens lured sailors to their deaths with beautiful songs.

In 2026, they've upgraded.

Now they have smartphones and welcome bonuses.

"BET $10 AND GET $200!"

We had to blindfold our captain and put some earmuffs in his ears.

Researchers examined nearly 62 million insured person-years of American health data.

After online sports betting legalization, states experienced increases in antidepressant prescriptions, anxiety medication use, and mental-health visits relative to comparison states.

Estimated antidepressant use increased by 0.57 percentage points among men and 1.08 among women.

This doesn't prove betting caused anyone's depression.

But it raises some uncomfortable questions about turning every phone into a 24-hour casino.

Remember when losing your life savings required leaving your house?

Now you can do it on the toilet.

Captain managed to take out his blindfold and earmuffs, he was about to jump off the ship…

If you're chasing losses or can't control your gambling, take it seriously.

We rescued the captain.

He'd lost our anchor during this short period...

I hate this crew.

Anabolic steroids and heart recovery | 8.1/10

On the sixth island, we encountered a giant.

Shoulders like refrigerators. Neck wider than his medical knowledge.

"I AM THE STRONGEST MAN ALIVE!"

OK, Hercules.

How's your left heart ventricle?

Researchers followed 70 anabolic steroid users and 35 weightlifters who didn't use steroids.

Among 15 users who stopped, heart pumping function improved by an average of six percentage points, and enlarged heart muscle mass decreased.

Those who continued showed persistent cardiac enlargement and impaired function.

So yes, some steroid-related heart changes may improve after quitting.

But the stopping group was small, and the study doesn't prove all damage is reversible.

Our giant protested.

"BUT MY BICEPS ARE HUGE!"

Yes, Dave. Unfortunately, your biceps don't pump blood.

If you're using anabolic steroids without medical supervision, seek help to stop and get your cardiovascular health checked.

We departed as the giant tried luring our intern into taking steroids…

Exercise and fall prevention | 9.5/10

Ahead lay a collapsing bridge guarded by an elderly warrior.

He'd survived wars, famine, and seventy years of terrible politicians.

But a slippery bathroom floor could still end his independence.

Falls are no joke for older adults.

So researchers conducted a randomized trial involving 11,945 adults aged 65 and older.

A system helping doctors prescribe tailored strength and balance exercises was associated with approximately 9% fewer medically documented falls and 6% fewer fall-related injuries.

Some sessions were designed to take around ten minutes.

Ten f***ing minutes.

Zero miracle supplement or ancestral warrior protocol.

Targeted strength and balance exercises only.

If you're older or at increased fall risk, this can actually help you.

Our warrior crossed the bridge safely.

In the meantime our thirty-four-year-old gambling addict captain slipped on a banana peel while placing a bet on his new iPhone.

He was taking opioids for his butt pain, and unsurprisingly, he overdosed…

The sea swallowed us.

We were heading into the underworld.

Naloxone and opioid overdose | 8.8/10

I was practically the captain… Managed to get us to a pharmacy, because I wanted to get the real captain who was not breathing some Naloxone.

Opioid overdoses can suppress breathing, and naloxone can rapidly reverse that effect.

The gates were guarded by a pharmacist demanding a prescription.

During a life-threatening emergency!!

Wonderful bureaucracy.

On October 16, European regulators announced a recommendation to make Nyxoid, a naloxone nasal spray, available without prescription.

But don't celebrate prematurely.

This is a regulatory recommendation, not confirmation that every European pharmacy can already supply it without prescription.

And even after giving naloxone, you must call emergency services immediately.

The underworld guardian reluctantly opened the gates.

Making lifesaving medication more accessible was finally considered reasonable.

The captain survived..

But the pharmacist called the guards…

We escaped into a palace promising miracle cancer cures.

Naturally, there was fine print.

Cancer drugs and medical uncertainty | 8.7/10

Inside the palace stood a salesman wearing a white coat.

"BEHOLD! A NEWLY APPROVED CANCER DRUG!"

Wonderful. How much does it improve survival?

"IT'S APPROVED!"

Yes, you said that.

But how much?

"LOOK AT THE SHINY PACKAGING!"

Oh, for f**k's sake.

Researchers conducted two randomized experiments involving 6,272 American adults.

When participants received clear information about uncertainty surrounding newly approved cancer drugs, they were 10.1 percentage points less likely to choose a hypothetical medication.

These weren't real treatment decisions by cancer patients.

But here's the important lesson.

Regulatory approval doesn't mean every question about survival benefits, long-term outcomes, or side effects has been answered.

That doesn't make an approved drug useless.

It means patients deserve honest answers.

Ask your oncologist what's proven, how large the benefit is, and what remains uncertain.

Strange enough the salesman acted as if he don’t know us anymore.

Apparently, transparency was his only weakness.

Although we thought the journey is finally done and I can go back to Max and never be back again, but one island remained.

Long-acting HIV treatment | 8.5/10

Our final island had an enormous clock.

Every 24 hours, it rang.

And every time, its inhabitants had to take their medication.

Then a scientist appeared.

"What if some patients didn't need a pill every day?"

Finally. Someone useful.

Researchers randomized 540 adults living with HIV across Kenya, South Africa, and Uganda.

They compared long-acting injectable therapy with daily oral medication.

After 48 weeks, viral suppression was maintained in:

The injections, administered every eight weeks after initial dosing, met the trial's noninferiority criterion.

But five injection recipients experienced confirmed virologic failure, compared with none taking oral medication.

So injections aren't automatically better for everyone. Resistance, eligibility, and monitoring matter.

Still, fewer daily pills could make treatment considerably easier for suitable patients.

For once, the crew was silent.

The captain was recovering.

The intern was “observing” per usual.

We finally had our ten discoveries.

Time to go home.

After ten islands, several near-death experiences, and one missing anchor, we finally returned home.

Dr. Max was waiting.

"So, Kev, what did you discover?"

Well, Max, f*** you.

There.

New treatments can make life easier, but easier isn't always better.

Seeing your blood sugar can help manage diabetes, but not everyone needs a glucose monitor.

Not all processed foods are nutritional crimes.

Huge muscles don't guarantee a healthy heart.

Simple exercises can prevent serious falls.

A nasal spray can reverse a deadly overdose.

And cancer patients deserve to know what their treatment can actually do.

Max nodded.

"So what's the biggest lesson?"

The biggest lesson, you magnificent idiot, is that medical science is rarely as simple as the headline selling it to you.

A promising result isn't a miracle.

An association isn't proof.

An approval isn't a guarantee.

And a six-pack is not a cardiology report.

Our voyage is over.

The monsters are still out there.

And next week, unfortunately, so am I.

If you read it all. let me know if you liked my journey or that was not your cup of tea.

Until then, stay curious, question the bullshit, and keep your organs functioning.

Dr. Kevin Cutthebull, MD

Reluctant 2nd captain of The Evidence. Professional destroyer of medical nonsense.

Additional dispatches: GLP-1 and alcohol, celiac disease treatment, ovarian aging, and ulcerative colitis treatment.

The stories are fictional, But the research findings come from the October 10–16, 2026 Medical Radar. Observational associations do not establish causation, and research findings are not individualized medical advice!

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